THE WASHU HAKUBI SHOW!
by The Anime kid and Chaos Girl
Summary: What happens when Washu gets her own t.v. show? Find out here!
1. The insanity begins

**The Washu Hakubi Show!**

Disclaimer: We don't own Tenchi Muyo!, any related characters, or any "special gests".

  "We're on in 5…4…3…2… Hello, everybody, and welcome to the Washu Hakubi Show!" The pink haired genius gone talk show host smiled.

   ~Tenchi, Ryoko, Ayeka, Sasami, and Mihoshi were all tied to chairs on the Oprah-like set with mecha robots standing guard.~

  "Why must you torture us so?" Tenchi sobbed. Washu hit him with a microphone.

  "No talking, monkey boy!" She faced the audience, who were also in the same predicament.

  "Now it's time to meet my co-host, The Claw!"  

  ~A teen in a green cloak came in, and sat down in a chair. ~

  "Uhh… Hi, everyone…"  The claw said.

  "OK! Let's introduce our 'special guest'… Raven from Teen Titans!"

  ~A girl in a green cloak comes in reluctantly~

  "Why am I here?" she asked, sitting down.

  "Because I had too much coffee today! Now, could you tell the studio audience… Are you madly in love with Beast Boy?" Washu held her Microphone of Doom up to Raven's mouth.

  "…Shut up." 

  "Wrong Answer!" BONK!

Raven became very annoyed. Her eyes glowed white.

  "Azarath, Metrion…" BONK!

  "No chanting incantations! Do you wanna end up like them, missy?" Washu asked, pointing behind her to the tied-up Tenchi crew.

  "Someone please kill me…" Raven said as she returned to normal, sinking back into her chair, rubbing her head. Washu smiled evilly, and pressed a button on her microphone that made it 5x bigger.

  "That can be arranged…" Just then, one of the stage crew guys ran up to her and whispered something.

  "Oops! Gotta stick to the PG rating!"

The claw got mad.

  "She stole my look!" 

  "I did not!" Raven shouted.

  "Did too!"

  "Did not!"

  "Did too!"

Washu BONK!-ed them on the head with the microphone. The claw rubbed his head.

  "Hey! You aren't supposed to BONK! the co-host!" he complained.

  "Well, it's _my show!" _

  "This isn't very fun…" Sasami complained.

  "It's a hoot to me! Well, it's been great havin' ya, Ravey, but now you can go back to your boring, unimportant life. Bye, Bye, now!" Washu waved.

  "I am _outta_ here!" Raven said, running off the stage.

  "Time for a commercial break!" Washu smiled.


	2. Insanity ensues

(A/N: IT'S TIME TO AUTHOR THE NOTES!!!

TAK: WE ARE SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN LIKE… what? a YEAR?!

CG: It just got too out of hand. By the way, feel welcome to submit suggestions on who is going to be the "guest star" next! It may be a video game, Anime, or cartoon character, but it has to be approved by us. We have to know who it is. (You may include yourself, but please include what you look like You may make it up, your personality, and anything else you would like us to know!) NOW, ON WITH THE STORY!!!)

****

Chapter 2

During the commercial break

"Great! Washu went to get more coffee! Now's our chance to get out of here!" Ryoko declared. She hopped in her chair towards exit, stage left.

"Almost there… GAAH!" Mecha robot shoots net at Ryoko

"Bwahahaha! You'll never escape!!!" Washu laughed, sitting back down in her chair.

"4…3…2… Hello, and welcome back to the Washu Hakubi Show! This segment's special guest is yellow, porous, and lives in a pineapple under the sea! You got it folks! It's Spongebob!"

Spongebob walks in with the water helmet thingy on

"HI! My name is Spongebob Squarepants!"

"DID I SAY YOU COULD SPEAK?!" Washu pointed her microphone of doom at Spongebob threateningly.

"No…" He said timidly.

"Good sponge. Now, as you know, Spongebob lives under the sea. Can you tell us exactly WHAT sea you live under?" The yellow sponge thought about this for a moment.

"THE sea!" he shouted. Washu made a noise that sounded like a buzzer for an incorrect response.

"WRONG ANSWER! BONK!" Washu BONK!ed him on the head, accidentally breaking his water helmet.

"I…Can't…BREATHE!" Spongebob wheezed. Then, The Claw walked in and saw Mr. Squarepants.

"AHHH!!!! SPONGEBOB!!! DIE!!!!" The Claw commands the mechas to shoot him with a bazooka. They do so and Spongebob dies.

"Darn it! Loose more sponges that way. Oh well! Who do we have next?" Washu asked loudly. A mecha walked up to her.

"**Reporting: Next guest is named 'Dora the Explorer**'." The mecha returned to its post. A young Hispanic child skipped in followed by a monkey in bright red boots. Evidently, his name was Boots.

"Yay! We made it to the stage! Now what should we do?" Dora asked the audience which is usually composed of little kids.

"Sit down!" The audience yelled enthusiastically.

"Okay!" Dora sat down. "We did it!"

The girl started squirming around in her chair and began to sing.

"We did it! We did it! We did it! YAY!!!!" she sang out loudly. Boots the monkey was looking a little lost.

"Hey," Kiyone whispered to the monkey. "Come here." The monkey pointed to himself like 'me?' Kiyone nodded, and Boots scampered over to her.

"Do you know how to untie a double triple extra strong, complex trigonometric ancient Chinese sailor's knot?" she asked. Boots died because the big words shorted out his brain.

"Oh well. I tried," The dark green haired Galaxy Police detective shrugged. Meanwhile, Washu was pacing back and forth in front of Dora the Explorer.

"Hmm, hmm, hmm. You violated many, many rules here, young lady. Bringing a monkey to my show, speaking to the audience, wearing a backpack that contains a talking map…" She continued down the list. "This calls for… The Hyper Super Extremely Painful OWIE BONK!!!"

"Ooh, what's that? It sounds pretty! Do YOU think it sounds pretty?" The audience was afraid to answer.

"So, Miss Missy," The Claw said, holding a remote, "do you like ice cream?"

"Oh, _si_, sir! I do! Especially vanilla with sprinkles!" Dora cutely replied. The Claw melted at her… cuteness. He turned toward Washu.

"I can't do it!" he whispered. "She's too darn cute!" Washu rolled her eyes.

"Well, if you're too chicken to do it, then I will have to." She grabbed the remote and pressed a button. A giant ice cream cone in the shape of a microphone fell from the ceiling and squashed poor Dora.

"IT'S SO COLD!! WAAAAHHH!!!" She whined as she ran out the door.

"OK, folks, that's it for today's episode!" Washu said. "And remember, Washu loves you!!" Washu put up the peace sign in front of the camera. Ryoko scooted up to the camera in her chair.

"NO SHE DOESN'T! DON'T LISTEN TO HER!!" she screamed.


End file.
